Hand in Hand, Belonging & Gratitude
Here's a little practice that'll move you towards your belonging. It'll move you from a "sense of belonging" into "real belonging." Express some gratitude to someone. (Belonging Practice 7)
Yes, when we express gratitude, we create real belonging, the two-way street where you feel, own, and care for each other. Belonging is as much, acting upon the feeling of caring for someone as it is getting the feeling when someone cares for you. Get this, when you express gratitude, you actually increase your ability to care and belong even more.
You see, when you receive gratitude, you get a boost of oxytocin, the love/hero chemical for your heart & brain. You know, that awe-shucks feeling.
BUT! When you give or express gratitude to someone, you produce even more oxytocin than you do when receiving. Thanks for reminding me of this wonderful gratitude neurobiological nugget Melissa Hughes, Ph.D.! If you’re in neuronerd like me, connect with her, she’s brilliant and fun with neuro stuff. To find out what’s going on inside you and the benefits of gratitude check out her piece here on gratitude. Expressing gratitude is an act of belonging.
Do Gratitude. You get higher oxytocin, they get higher oxytocin = results in more belonging. And there's a side benefit. When your brain's in belonging, that's the only time your noggin can dedicate itself to your doing whatever at the highest level possible. This includes even feeling good about yourself! Oh shit! Just thought of that.
Otherwise, your brain keeps spinning cycles, wrestling with "I gotta belong" vs "I gotta get this done!"
There’s a heart benefit too. Your heart has oxytocin receptors. Your oxytocin generated in gratitude goes to your heart also! Oxytocin enables your heart rebuild faster than it’s damaged by cortisol as your body moves into a state of higher performance. Stress without belonging kills us. Stress in belonging gives us a sustainable supply of oxytocin, that literally makes our heart feel better. And all that takes is practicing a bit of gratitude.
If you want to really expand your repertoire of gratitude practices, connect up with Kevin Monroe. I don't know anybody who does gratitude better than him!
Oh, one last thing, and this tends to generate more opportunities for gratitude and even deeper belonging.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and if you found this article helpful, please share it with another. I’d really appreciate that.
Have a great day and keep making our work world a better place to belong. Paul