Imagine your new member of your company tribe, she’s alive in your company, straight from a place of belonging. She doesn’t have to wait and see if she fits in. She feels, owns, and cares for her teammates right out of the gate, and her teammates do the same for her. (She Belongs). She’s begun the adoption to make the company purpose, hers personally, and in shared belief (She Believes).

She knows herself in her values and strengths, and lives them in alignment with the company’s core values (She Lives Values). From this place and in clarity, she gets her new company’s strategic story, and then joins her own with it, creating deeply relational and purposeful accountability. The company’s promised land belongs to her now, and also, to accomplish its overall mission in the world (She Joins Stories).

She knows and owns her daily practices of her role that create her contribution beyond her individuality, and in developing her increased abilities to help her teammates further the company’s aspirations (She Practices). She balances her work & family life for a higher optimal normal living in each, with a reserve to dig down for her peak performance when it’s really needed in work and family (She Grows).

Affirming these Six Areas in a Belonging Culture:

Belong, Believe, Live Values, Join Stories, Practice, Grow

It makes no difference whether it’s a remote or in-office employee. If you find a way to address and provide for these six areas of company belonging during your onboarding, you’ll stack the odds in your company’s favor. Your people will start off from a place of being all in.

How you’ll do this completely depends upon your company core values, and how each person who’s involved in the onboarding, contributes from their individual strengths in attribute and skill, and from their own personal values. You’re making things so that new members of your company can say, “Yes, I will… belong, believe, live values, join stories, practice, and grow,” right out of the starting gate!

These six affirmations become a massive springboard for your new people to launch from. I’ve broken each affirmation area into multiple sub-affirmations. This should help you identify your specific ways to do things, from your abilities, so you can get your new company members to 6 x Yes! And I want to reiterate this, it’s not, how another company might do it, but rather, yours. This comes down to the matter of doing just that from your company’s people, abilities, and resources to do so. None of this is rocket science. It’s about being human in your unique company tribal belonging.

(Yep, this one’s a bit of a long read, but it’ll be well worth it. Getting yes to these 6 affirmations will change your company forever, for the good.)

Something to note here, you don’t have to provide this experience all in one day. But it definitely needs to happen in the first 1 to 2 weeks.

Link to infographic: 6 Aspects of Belonging for a High Performing Culture

Affirmation 1 - They Belong at Their New Company

(What this means: they feel, own, and care for their leaders and team members' successes, dreams, and failures. And their leaders and team members do the same for them.) (3 sub yesses)

A. Can they say, "I feel for my leaders' and team members' successes, dreams, and failures. And my leaders and team members feel for me in the same way."? (yes/no)

This “I feel for” affect coming from your incoming employee, can only happen if they’ve been given the “feel for”, from everybody during the hiring process. That means that from end-to-end during the process, you’ll genuinely converse with them about their successes, dreams, and failures in connection with your company’s.
Whatever interactions you choose during your hiring process, what you do must give them a basis to return the feeling in kind: I feel for my leaders and my new teams. (Whether in person, or over zoom, conversations need to happen with the leadership, the team they’ll be serving with, and also from a sampling of the general population of the company.)
From this, they should be able to say, “yes, I do,” in response to what you’ve given them thus far. This is a starting point in the, feel for, space. It only cements with love over time.
(It’s relational in inspired response, versus a quid pro quo.)
Now hired, make sure the doing of the tasks in contributing coincides with the ways core values are lived in belonging. Time in this early space needs to be carved for bidirectional “feel for” relationships to develop. Too busy creates un-belonging, and that in turn, usually leads to passive-aggressive self-preserving behaviors, that often result in multiple mini intra-company civil wars.

B. Can they say, "I take ownership of my leaders' and team members' successes, dreams, and failures. And my leaders and team members take ownership in the same way for me."? (yes/no)

This “I own” affect coming from your incoming employee, can only happen if they’ve experienced your ownership of their success during the hiring process, regardless of whether or not you offer them the position.

An example of this could be, expressing in genuine declaration, that you take personal ownership of their experience during the hiring process. As part of the automated hiring process, they can receive a guideline for setting up their Zoom more optimally. What they’ll feel, even if they don’t fully understand yet, is you’ve given guidance from a caring, instead of a judging place. It’s your ownership of their success during the hiring process.
This opens the door to them to look at their ownership of their new role as more than being individually accountable to doing a task in performing that role. As in being accountable to each other, like, “I have personal responsibilities in my role that make me co-owner and collaborator in my teammate’s individual successes too.”
They should be able to say, “yes, I own,” in response to what you’ve given them thus far. This is a starting point in the ownership that creates a “my company,” “my team,” “my boss,” and ultimately, the “my customer,” space for them.

C. Can they say, "I care for my leaders' and team members' successes, dreams and failures. And my leaders and team members care for me in the same way."? (yes/no)

This “I care for” affect coming from your incoming employee, can only happen if they’ve experienced your caring (acts of compassion) for them during the hiring process. If you start caring for them after they’ve been hired, they’ll have to get over the hump on whether or not you’re genuine in your actions. We’ve all met the person who wouldn’t give us the time of day, and then all of a sudden is really friendly.

An example of this could be, asking the person during the interview if they could adjust their camera and zoom to make better eye contact with you. Or, or asking them to move out from in front of the window so that you can see them better. You’ll potentially find out a few things, can they adapt to their own shortcomings under pressure? Is their desire to be more optimal a dynamic quality of theirs, etc? What they’ll feel even, if they don’t understand, if you’ve given the guidance from a caring, instead of a judging place, your ownership in their success during the hiring process. Caring for (compassion) confirms the feeling (empathy) and the ownership (accountability) that they seek in being part of your company.
They’ll need to hear stories of compassion relating to all layers of authority throughout your company. Especially from those who have received it, and then also the higher authority, from the core values that inspire and drive it.

This is the beginning of letting them know, “We take care of each other here. You’re not just an employee. You’re more.”

Ultimately this is a ritual time where they agree to belong at your company, that is, in the aspirational existence of being in the tribe, to feel, own, and care for the company tribe, in its successes, dreams, and failures, as the tribe cares for them. It’s not about having expectations, it’s about getting into agreement with the expectations of what it means to be a member of your company. The stories shared here open the door for your new company member to be an active participant in belonging.

Affirmation 2 - They Believe in Their New Company
(shared belief)

(What this means: they as new members (initially) believe in your company’s: core values, shared purpose, their leadership team, their teammates, their company's strategic direction and abilities, and, the products and services you provide to the world.) (6 sub yesses)

A. Can they say, "I believe in my company's core values."? (yes/no)

Invite them into agreeing to live the company core values as they perform their role
Share stories where living the values carried the company forward
Share stories where living the values restricted the company
Share stories where leaders failed to live the values, and then came back into rightness with them
Invite them into sharing how they would live the company core values

B. Can they say, "I believe in my company's shared purpose/mission."? (yes/no)

Have them hear the company’s purpose in a story, from multiple people
Have them share their personal impact from hearing the story, with each of the tellers.
(This can be done in person, or over Zoom. It’s a marvelous exercise that moves somebody towards adopting the company story as theirs.)

C. Can they say, "I believe in my leadership team."? (yes/no)

Let them hear stories and witnessing from a regular mix of employees about their leadership team
Let them need to hear from the leadership directly, that they are part of the company now
Have them share their personal impact from hearing the stories, from each of the tellers
(This can be done in person, or over Zoom. It’s a marvelous exercise that moves somebody towards adopting the company story as theirs and in relation to their coworkers’ version of their company stories.)

D. Can they say, "I believe in my teammates."? (yes/no)

Carve time for them to hear stories and witnessing from their new teammates
- what the team aspires to be
- successes outright
- failures
- and failures overcame
- and relating to, with optimal performance in consideration, repeated letting your team down removes you from company membership
Create the space to be invited and welcomed by their teammates
This means pausing the work, to initiate teaming. (Team OS)
If there is no pause, they will always sacrifice each other in the name of results, ultimately slowing and reducing their capability as a team. And there is no team without oxytocin and serotonin, Team OS
This is a great exercise to be done during a group lunch with both in-person and remotely

E. Can they say, "I believe in my company's strategic direction and abilities."? (yes/no)

They must be given a clear story that reveals the company’s strategic direction (where it’s going from the power of its distinct/unique advantage over the competition)
And they must be told the stories, both the aspirational and current verifiable abilities of the company, what’s being done to make that strategy happen in pursuit of the company mission.
It’s here where they start imagining themselves in the company strategic story.

F. Can they say, " I believe in the products and services I help provide to the world."? (yes/no)

This is the storytelling/living that drills down into the tangibles from the sometimes abstractness of a strategic level of understanding, that they personally will relate to
These stories really need to come from your customers, that means ask the customer to share with a new employee, in person or over zoom, how their life is better with your company’s product or service.
These cannot be a telling of the list of facts about customer benefits.
This is all real people and real connection to feel life-changing, people to people stuff

Affirmation 3 - They know & will live their own core values & strengths at their company

(What this means: they identify their core values and they actively live them without violating them at their work.) (3 sub yesses)

A. Can they say, "I know and will live my personal core values and strengths in my work at my company."? (yes/no)

Have them go through a current core values discovery exercise, either during the hiring process (what I advise), or after they have accepted the position
My recommendation for this is the VIA Character Strengths Test and Rich Diviney’s, The Attributes assessment tool.
All personalysis tests are contextual and reflective, please resist using them as predictive or prescriptive. These tests are mere snapshots. Using them as predictive or prescriptive is a direct path to a fixed mindset in your employees’ identity that creates all sorts of artificial limits to their potential.
Create a detailed exercise/scenario where they use their current discovered values and strengths, and attributes, where they see themselves working from those strengths and values in the pursuit of the company shared purpose, in their contribution.

B. Can they say, "I am encouraged to live my values and strengths to their fullest in my work at my company."? (yes/no)

Yes, more stories and witness here again. They need to hear the history from the horse’s mouth. People in the company sharing how they were encouraged and then lived from their, values, strengths, and attributes together.
Hearing the stories will stir their being encouraged towards living their values… etc.
These cannot be encouraged, only in the form of lip service.

C. Can they say, "I will take deep personal accountability in my work at my company."? (yes/no)

From their new teammates to their executives, they’ll share stories revealing vulnerable places of people being personally accountable to each other in successes and failures in their individual work.
Have the new company member share their story of something similar, where they took deep accountability to see something through for somebody.
Directive rules don’t ring people into the culture, stories and inviting lore do that

Affirmation 4A - They feel connected to their company's strategic story in the world

(What this means: They understand and embrace how their company's purpose is unique and changes the world, where others' companies can't or won't.) (2 sub yesses)

A. Can they say, "I understand my company's unique way to achieve its purpose and change the world."? (yes/no)

Here, invite them into the up close and personal of their internal tribal company story. This is where the company victory stories, the war stories, and verified lore, come into play. It’s through the sharing interaction here, that they see where their strengths could’ve helped the company tribe achieve more in world change. This sets the stage for their personal strategic story to be married to the company strategic story. I am unique + my company is unique = we are unique.

An example here would be a day in the life of the company, in the work, where it overcame something, but without the new hire’s presence and membership in the tribe, the, “we did it, but holy cow, if we’d had somebody (like the new hire) we could’ve done even more. Now that we have them, and we can completely and utterly rely on them, wow, our lives, and our customers’ are going to be so much better.

B. Can they say, "I will embrace my company's uniqueness in it's purpose."? (yes/no)

This is the simple move where they legitimately, not just understand, but feel in real awareness that they’ve joined something special and unique, in their new company. They’re part of something bigger now!

Affirmation 4b – Their personal "strategic story" connects well & they matter to the company story

(What this means: They understand how they are unique in their own strengths and contribute to fulfilling the company shared purpose - this is what makes them strategic and matter - and they take ownership and accountability for your contribution and commitments.) (3 more sub yesses)

A. Can they say, "I understand how my own unique strengths matter in fulfilling my company shared purpose."? (yes/no)

Create an exercise/scenario, where they can explore using their unique strengths and abilities
- From an individual perspective
- From their team’s perspective
- From senior leadership’s perspective

B. Can they say, "My personal strategic story contributes to the company story in fulfilling the company's shared purpose."? (yes/no)

I have an exercise, of the design thinking type, narrating/drawing their story of how they ended up joining the company.
- New company members and established ones draw a giant timeline of, the history of the world and what the company is doing to change it for the better
- New company members and established ones add their individual contributions or significant events that led them to care about the company’s purpose, to the timeline
- In the end, they should be able to formally see how they individually matter in the big picture

C. Can they say, "I will be accountable for my commitments and contributions in fulfilling my company's shared purpose."? (yes/no)

Now that their personal story’s connected to the company story, their contribution and commitments are personal. With that comes an innate higher level of accountability. It is towards one another to achieve the mission of the shared purpose.
If it’s not personal, you’re stacking the odds in favor of them always being accountable to something outside the company, that may be the company paycheck is enabling. “I work for the money to pay for the healthcare of my ailing mother.” That is not the same as working for my teammate or my customer and being able to pay for the healthcare of my ailing mother.

Affirmation 5 - They understand, are given & own their practices at work, and welcome how they are measured

(What this means: They know what good looks like. They define their part in how they are measured fairly by your company. They are measured in ways that lead and help them grow.) (6 sub yesses)

A. Can they say, "I understand the practices (what I can and need to do) to be done to achieve in my work."? (yes/no)

You’re simply coaching & conversing with them to ferret out if they really know how to do what they’re going to do.
- From a knowledge and skill standpoint
- From an intra-related company standpoint
- From their current skill level to what they need to learn as they advance

B. Can they say, "I am provided and will accept the means to develop the "people and technical" skills for the practices to succeed at my work."? (yes/no)

This is where you let them know that in their development so that they don’t rest in the assumption or a hope-for. Unaddressed, this leads to performance-sapping fear and anxiety that almost always accompanies when expectations outside the bounds of agreement
Share with them, how your company will assist them in their growth for their success. (You’re making it clear to them, that it’s about them.)

C. Can they say, "I will take ownership of my practices, in their development and outcomes, for my work."? (yes/no)

Here you simply give them ownership. And, they have to take it or things don’t go forward
You’re also making the commitment to them to give them the autonomy to grow and make mistakes along the way
At this stage, and with a “yes, I will…” here, they’re committing to owning what they do from the onset, instead of you hoping that they’ll take ownership at some point

D. Can they say, "I understand and will take a majority role in defining what success in my work looks like."? (yes/no)

During the onboarding here, their leader meets with works their new company/team member to (together) paint the picture of what success in the role looks like.
- Leader holds focus on the objective for their role.
- Keeps the lion’s share of the responsibility on the new member to define, to paint their picture
- SNOW principle See, Name, Own, Work
  We don’t work well on what we don’t own
- Leader may veto parts of the defining that miss the objective

E. Can they say, "I will play a significant part in how I am measured fairly by my company."? (yes/no)

Establish in agreement here, that they are responsible for designing and doing the measuring of themselves, with the guidance of their leaders

F. Can they say, "I will be measured and guided in ways that lead to my growth, professionally and personally."? (yes/no)

An exercise in creating lead and lag measures for working towards the objectives for their new role
Reviewing those lead and lag measures for relevance in the overall company objective
Same for personal aspirational growth

Affirmation 6 - They understand, define, and own how they are grown, and they keep balance in family and work

(What this means for growth: Your growth is encouraged and assisted by your company, and you understand how it benefits you personally and, in your contribution, to helping the company grow in fulfilling its purpose.)

(What this means for balance: In your work with your company you’re able to keep a balance of time and presence for healthy family and work life. That is, you're not working at the expense of your family or self.)
(6 sub yesses)

A. Can they say, "my growth will be encouraged and assisted by my company."? (yes/no)

It’s really simple, they need to be introduced to people who were encouraged to grow in your company. In the relating, between the established employees and the new ones, this becomes an adopted way by the new.

B. Can they say, "I will be responsible for defining and owning of how I am grown."? (yes/no)

Here, stories need to be shared that reveal the lion’s share of ownership for a person’s growth objectives and practices lies with the individual. If in the case of a startup, that lacks a history of story to invite them into, create aspirational stories of, “if we do grow, and own our own growth, (assisted by the company), then…” And when they do, REWARD them!

C. Can they say, "my growth will benefit me personally and in my contribution to helping my company grow in fulfilling its purpose."? (yes/no)

Introduce them into being very personal in their own growth and in contributing to the company’s growth. Nothing beats the power of when WIIFM (everyone’s favorite radio station, What’s In It For Me) meets WIIFW (What’s In It For We). The servant leaders in your bunch often forget about WIIFM. It’s a quick spiral to burnout.

D. Can they say, "I understand and will define, what balance looks like in my life, for my family and work."? (yes/no)

Have them paint this picture for themselves, write a narrative of it, and document it. They will need it for grounding during the times when they forget to drop out of being heroic.

E. Can they say, "I will be empowered to keep balance in my life for family and work."? (yes/no)

This is where you have to lay down the law, you are empowering them to say no and drop back into balance.

F. Can they say, “I will be successful in keeping balance in my life for family and work."? (yes/no)

You charge them with keeping a healthy balance when it comes to growth. You’re setting them up to go forward in growth paralleled with health.

If you get affirmations across these six areas, nobody’s gonna stop you and your company from getting to your promised land. The work you put into setting people up for #6timesyes will be worth it.

If it seems a bit daunting to you, give me a call, 206-714-6113, or drop me an email at paul@heartbasedleading.com. I love helping people create belonging.

I’m quite confident that we can find a way for you to do it your way. It’ll take a bit of time, and like anything that’s worth it, it will be time well spent.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Paul

Onboarding for a High-Performing Belonging Culture