Top of CEO’s Mind, after Laying People Off
Photo by Magnet.me on Unsplash
You laid some of your employees off. I imagine you might feel pretty sh!%%y. And the justification for the layoff, it doesn't really mitigate much of the "this sucks" feeling. You didn't want to do it, be the bad leader. It's easy to feel lonely. Or shall I say, it's easier to choose the invulnerability that comes with stepping into the lonely place, emotionally farther away from your people? Thing is, that's the last thing you and your people need after layoffs.
Keep going towards them, in your vulnerability. That's what you need, and that's what they need to get back into belonging.
Yeah, you, self-isolating isn't going to help you be the person that your people deeply need, far more than before the layoff. And, it's not helping you be the person you deeply need to be for yourself. Ultimately, it's preventing you from holding the focus that you and your remaining people and teams really need. Your lack of belonging, and theirs also, displaces your collective focus that gets you to achieve your company's shared purpose.
I've had a few recent conversations with CEOs and senior leaders that found no other choice but to do layoffs. All the conversations start with rationalizations that ease their souls, that intellectually tells them, "I'm still a good person." And they are. The chats end differently, in (some version of), "I f*#&ing hate this. I keep spinning on how I could've done better." One of them followed up with, "they'd probably have fired me and brought somebody else in who'd have an easier time laying people off." Each one's top-of-mind came to the surface.
Years ago, I had to lay off one of my best friends. Not just once, the same guy, twice. Yeah, he came back. And I had to lay him off again. When I shared this story with these leaders, that's when they shifted in their story from the, I had to but I'm still a good person, to the real and emotional space of, I hate this. My sharing of the story opened the door for us to belong. I had to offer my vulnerability. The conversations then got below the surface, to the heart of their situations and being.
To belong, you must be unsafe (vulnerable), to be safe.
They, just like their employees, those that they had to let go, and those that remain, need to get back into belonging. They need to step into their vulnerable space and invite belonging back into play. Their companies' belonging took a pretty good hit. The only way to fix messed up belonging, is to invite another back into belonging.
The irony here, you can't make things safe so they belong, a.k.a. create an environment of psychological safety. It's the belonging that creates psy-safety for our noggins. Real belonging is a deeply vulnerable space. That means it's inherently risky. You give belonging, and then when they choose to belong, their fears lessen, even if the risk or the danger is still present. Say, like during high economic uncertainty.
Broken belonging makes it really hard to get back into good focus on the things we aspire for, like your company purpose. Like right now, I imagine you're thinking of what you're going to have to do to get your company back to a higher sustaining level, and you're worried about how engaged your employees are now. You're experiencing normal neurobiology. When we're faced with focusing on creating or preserving belonging, versus achieving the company purpose, belonging wins and always takes top of mind. I like to call this the #thefitintax.
The Belonging Magic Quadrant
There's a magic quadrant in belonging. If you can move your company back towards it, it'll put you and your people in a place where you can more easily bring your people's focus back. I urge you to go that direction. And if you need help give me a holler.
Before getting to the quadrant, here's the working definition of belonging for you to consider.
Real Belonging is... the state of being, in relationship with each other and self, where... you feel, own, and care for them, in their successes, dreams, and failures. And, they feel, own, and care for you in yours. A two-way street.
It's here, where we move from fear of, to fear for each other and let that push our performance to the next level, we got each other's back. And where we land in aspire with and for each other, instead of in spite of each other.
Here's what the quadrant looks like. Where are you? Where's your team?
Link for full Infographic at the end of article.
In the magic quadrant of belonging, your brain and heart get to keep its top-of-mind focus of choice. Like your company shared purpose! The other three quadrants make it impossible to maintain that focus.
If you're the CEO, I know you’ve felt this. In fact, it may have moved you to create your own company.
The Belonging Quadrants
Bottom Left: There's no feel, own, and care, in either direction. So you struggled until you found a new direction/place - where you really belong. Since the savanna, our brains have been this way. It's how we thrive and stay alive, still.
Top of Mind: focused everywhere else. (You here? What's top of mind for you?)
Top Left: They had feel, own, and care for you, but you really didn't for them. It just wasn't right for you. That's okay, we don't belong with everybody. But like everybody we all have to belong. That feeling, it's telling you to go find or create where and with whom you will belong.
Top of Mind: focused on I'm here, sure it feels good, but it's just not right. Oh, what was I working on? (You here? What's top of mind for you?)
Bottom right: You had the feel, own, and care for them. But it never came back. This one's more like a gut punch. At times, well, it was for me. And it's probably the pinnacle of the negative impact for the #thefitintax.
Top of Mind: I'm at risk. is there something wrong with me? For some reason, I'm never good enough, even if you are, for the tasks at hand. (You here? What's top of mind for you?)
Top Right: Oh yeah! This is where the magic happens! Nestled in real belonging our brains and hearts are free to focus on the shared purpose of our company tribe. Here, we naturally land in Unite & Fight instead of Fight/Flight. Our neurochemistry is flush with oxytocin and serotonin, the requisite chemicals for optimal teaming and focus.
Top of Mind: Whatever you're focused upon, your company shared purpose. (You here? What's top of mind for you?)
What quadrant are you in right now?
The great thing, you get to choose which one to move into. As the CEO or the senior leadership team, you're in the most influential positions to bring your company's belonging back. It may take some effort and some vulnerability, but you can get to belonging’s magic quadrant.
If you're unsure where to start, give me a holler. I'm happy to help you get moving back into the magic quadrant. I’m here for you.
Thanks for taking the time to read. If you found this helpful, a bit insightful, please share it with somebody who might find it helpful.
Here's a link to the infographic, Belonging, the Magic Quadrant, and Workplace Brains.